Oct 5, 2025: comfortably uncomfortable
Thank God for another Sunday. The theme for today’s sermon was “comfortably uncomfortable”. This has had me reflect what’s happened in the last few months (and everything that’s happened over the years) and it genuinely has been the biggest metaphorical slap across the face (though, I’m sure there’s a small group of people who wish I did get slapped across the face). There’s a bunch that I’d rather clarify in a podcast episode and not here. There’s some things that have happened that I’ve honestly been nervous talking about. What would my friends think? What would my enemies say? Will I be able to forgive for everything that’s been said and done? Will I be forgiven for things I’ve said and done? Well, rest assured… I’m comfortable with being uncomfortable.
The main point of moving back to Georgia has been my attempt on rekindling with the rest of my family and hope things can be better. They haven’t been. My mother can’t seem to take any accountability for her actions. My sibling can’t seem to form any opinion or achieve a single critical thought that’s not their mother’s. I’ve about reached my wits end with it all. How do I forgive someone that doesn’t see an issue with their choices and the affects it has? Why am I to be assumed to be THE ONLY ONE to do it? Is this expected from me for everyone? Why do I get to carry that weight? It’s not mine.
Do I have my remorses for things I’ve said to and about my mother? Absolutely.
Do I wish my sibling fought more for the sibling bond we share? Absolutely.
These are things that are too foreign, too far gone. They don’t care about if I’m alive. They don’t care to make an effort to have a relationship with my child… and we live an hour and a half away.
My advice to them if they read this: if you don’t want me talking about it, maybe don’t do the bad things I might mention. Make the effort to have us in your life before it’s too late. I’ve already uprooted my life for this. I won’t make a single effort more. Most importantly… I will not take more accountability for my actions than I already have.
So while I do my drives back and forth to Gwinnett, I understand that I may not be wanted back (at least in familial ways), understand that I’m comfortable with feeling uncomfortable about that. I won’t apologize for my existence. Who I am, what I’ve been through… is an incredible thing. If you know, you know.
And I will never stop talking about it.
Until next time, I’ll leave here with today’s Bible verse:
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we may comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
2 Corinthians 3-4
Celebrate what makes you happy always,
Jenna/Starshine ✨
